internet

Indian had reached moon before American

This is known to the world............
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
But NASA has released only half of the Picure taken.............
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*
*

Now see the original Full Picture .................. !!!!!



Appam, Chemmeen fry..... Dosa, motta fry .... Paal Payasam ....eeeeeeee... Enda sare .. chayao kappiyo ???

Murphy's law

1. If u think a girl is beautiful, she'll always have a boyfriend to confirm that

2. the nicer she is...the quicker u will be dumped!!!!!

3. The more the makeup, worse the looks...

4. "99% of the girls in this world are beautiful. Remaining 1% would always be in your company.".................100% true

5. The guy standing next to a beautiful girl can never be her brother.

6. If by any chance the girl you like , likes you too, she will let you know in about 10 years from now ,when you are committed..

7. The more you ignore a girl, the more she'll want to be friends with you.

8. Theory of relativity......

The more u run towards a hot chick....the more she goes away from u...

9. Rule 1: Even if you got her out alone... just when you are about to let her know about your feelings...she will spot a long lost friend( I guess from Kumbh ka Mela)

Corollary to rule 1: The more desperate you are to tell your feelings to a girl on a private chat, the more probability the long lost friend she discovered is a handsome superman, who beats you in everything 9:1

Axiom 1: The more dedicated you are to the girl, the longer it takes before things work out, but ultimately it will (somesmile for the guys)

10. the day the chick you really like comes and speaks to you will be the day when-

1. You are dressed badly
2. You forgot to brush your teeth for the first time in your life
3.Have a bad hair day

11. all the good girls are either nuns or married .the rest go around with u and ruin ur money,health and leave u a total wreck.

12. the more seriously u like a girl...the more seriously her dad will hate u

13. the love you shower a girl with is directly proportional to the number of bullets her dad will be showering at you

not the real thing

An airplane full of a shipment of Pepsi flying over Africa had a malfunction, and went down. A few weeks later, Pepsi sent a rescue plane.

They searched the area and found a tribe of cannibals. They walkedup to the Chief of the tribe and asked him if he knew anything about the crash.

The Chief said, "Yeah.." When asked where the crew was, the Chief replied, "We ate the crew, and we drank the Pepsi." The rescue crew were shocked.

One man asked, "Did you eat their legs?" The chief replied, "We ate their legs, and we drank the Pepsi."

Another rescuer asked, "Did you eat their arms?" The Chief said, "We ate their arms, and we drank the Pepsi."

After looking totally perplexed for a minute, a third asked, "Did you..you know...eat their...ah, err, 'things'?"

The chief said, "No."

"No?" asked the rescuer.

"No," replied the Chief. "Things go better with Coke."

Diary of a Blonde Wife

*Monday:*

Now home from honeymoon and settled in our new home. It's fun to cook for Tim. Today I made an angel food cake and the recipe said, "beat 12 eggs separately." Well, I didn't have enough bowls to do that, so I had to borrow 12 bowls to beat the eggs in. The cake turned out fine though.


*Tuesday:*

We wanted a fruit salad for supper. The recipe said, "serve without dressing." So I didn't dress. But Tim happened to bring a friend home for supper that night. They both looked so startled when I served them, I think it was the salad.

*Wednesday:*

I decided to serve rice and found a recipe which said, "wash thoroughly before steaming the rice." So I heated some water and took a bath before steaming the rice. Sounded kinda silly in the middle of the day. I can't say it improved the rice anyhow.


*Thursday:*

Today Tim asked for salad again. I tried a new recipe. It said, prepare ingredients, then toss on a bed of lettuce one hour before serving." I hunted all over the place for a garden and when I got one, I tossed my salad into the bed of lettuce and stood over there for over one hour so the dog would not take it. Tim came over and asked if I felt all right. I wonder why? He must be stressed at work, I'll try to be supportive.


*Friday:*

Today I found an easy recipe for cookies. It said, "put all ingredients in a bowl and beat it." Beat it I did,to my mum's place. There must have been something wrong with the recipe, because when I came back home again, it looked the same as when I left it.


*Saturday:*

Tim went shopping today and brought home a chicken. He asked me to dress it for Sunday. I'm sure I don't know how hens dress for Sunday. I never noticed back on the farm, but I found an old doll dress and it's little cute shoes. I thought the hen looked really cute. When Tim saw it, he started counting to ten. Either he was really stressed because of his work,or he wanted the chicken to dance. When I asked him what was wrong he started crying and shouting out "why me? why me ?" Hmmm....It must be his job.

country doctors

A young doctor had moved out to a small community to replace a doctor who was retiring. The older gent suggested the young one accompany him on his rounds so the community could become used to a new doctor.

At the first house a woman complained, "I've been a little sickto my stomach." The older doctor said, "Well, you've probably been overdoing the fresh fruit. Why not cut back on the amount you've been eating and see if that does the trick?"

As they left the younger man said, "You didn't even examine that woman. How'd you come to your diagnosis so quickly?"

"I didn't have to. You noticed I dropped my stethoscope on thefloor in there? When I bent over to pick it up, I noticed a half dozen banana peels in the trash. That was what was probably making her sick."

"Huh," the younger doctor said, "Pretty clever. I think I'll try that at the next house."

Arriving at the next house, they spent several minutes talking with an elderly woman. She complained that she just didn't have the energy she once did. "I'm feeling terribly run down lately."

"You've probably been doing too much work for the church," the younger doctor told her. "Perhaps you should cut back a bit and see if that helps."

As they left, the elder doc said, "Your diagnosis is almost certainly correct, but how did you arrive at it?"

"Well, just like you at the last house, I dropped my stethoscope. When I bent down to retrieve it, I noticed the preacher under the bed."

Strange Laws Around The World

Check out these nutty laws from across the U.S.A. and around the globe!


* In Alabama, prison guards are forbidden from referring to their spouses as "the old ball 'n' chain."


* In Los Angeles, it's illegal for a waiter to tell a customer "I'm really an actor."


* In Indiana, it's against the law to dress "Barbie" in "Ken's" clothes.


* In Sedona, Ariz., it's illegal to lie about your astrological sign.


* In Texas, it's illegal to threaten somebody with an UNLOADED gun.


* In Samoa, it's a crime to forget your wife's birthday.


* In Australia, it's illegal to name any animal you plan to eat.


* In Cannes, France, it's illegal to wear a Jerry Lewis mask.


* In New Jersey, answering a traffic cop who asks "Do you know why I pulled you over?" by saying, "If you don't know, I'm not going to tell you" is an automatic $300 fine.


* In Kentucky, it's illegal to paint your lawn red.


* In Portugal, it's against the law to pee in the ocean.


* In Connecticut, night watchmen are forbidden from drinking decaf coffee while working.


* In Vermont, it's illegal to pick your nose and stick the pickings under a table.


* In Tennessee, it's illegal to tell someone to quit smoking.


* In Oregon, donut holes must be at least an 1/8th inch in diameter.


* In Georgia, it's illegal to teach a child under 5 the words "penis" and "vagina."


* Unmarried women are not allowed to buy edible panties in South Carolina.


* In Italy, anyone considered "obese" is forbidden from wearing polyester.


* It's illegal to tear a phone book in half in Montana.


* Anyone caught selling a "smoothie" that has lumps is breaking the law in California.


* In Arkansas, it's illegal for a woman getting married for the second time to wear a white wedding gown.


* In Pennsylvania, it's against the law to put a dollar on a string on the ground and yank it when someone tries to pick it up.


* In New York City, it's illegal for a restaurant to call it a "corned beef sandwich" if it's made with white bread and mayonnaise.

Men's Logic

A man and his wife were in a court for their divorce case.


The Problem was who should get custody of the child.


The wife screamed and jumped up and said: "Your Honor. I brought The child into the world with all the pain and labor.


The child Should be in my custody."


The judge turned to the husband and said: "What do you have to Say in your defense?"


The man sat for a while contemplating...then slowly rose. "Your Honor... If I put a dollar in a Pepsi Vending Machine and a Pepsi Comes out...


Whose Pepsi is it... The machine's or mine?"

Funny full forms of Big Companies

1. NIIT : Not Interested in IT

2. WIPRO : Weak Input, Poor & Rubbish Output

3. HCL : Hidden Costs & Losses

4. TCS : Totally Confusing Solutions
5. INFOSYS :Inferior Offline Systems

6. HUGHES : Highly Useless Graduates Hired for Eating and Sleeping

7. BAAN : Beggars Association and Nerds

8. IBM : Implicitly Boring Machines

9. SATYAM : Sad And Tired Yelling Away Madly

10. PARAM : Puzzled And Ridiculous Array of Microprocessors

11. C-DOT : Coffee During Office Timings

12. AT&T : All Troubles & Terrible

13. CMC : Coffee, Meals and Comfort

14. DEC : Drifting & Exhausted Computers

15. BFL : Brainwash First and Let them go

17. TISL : Totally Inconsistent Systems Ltd.

18. PSI : Peculiar Symptoms of India

19. ORACLE : On-line Romance And Chatting with Lady Employees.

20. MASTEK: Mad And Stupid Technitians Enroute to Kabaarkhana

21.PATNI : Pathetic Appraisal Techniques, No Increments

Hospital Window

Two men, both seriously ill, occupied the same hospital room.



One man was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour each afternoon to help drain the fluid from his lungs.
His bed was next to the room's only window.



The other man had to spend all his time flat on his back.



The men talked for hours on end. They spoke of their wives and families, their homes, their jobs, their involvement in the military service, where they had been on vacation.


Every afternoon when the man in the bed by the window could sit up, he would pass the time by describing to his roommate all the things he could see outside the window.


The man in the other bed began to live for those one hour periods where his world would be broadened and enlivened by all the activity and color of the world outside.


The window overlooked a park with a lovely lake. Ducks and swans played on the water while children sailed their model boats. Young lovers walked arm in arm amidst flowers of every color and a fine view of the city skyline could be seen in the distance.


As the man by the window described all this in exquisite detail, the man on the other side of the room would close his eyes and imagine the picturesque scene.


One warm afternoon the man by the window described a parade passing by.


Although the other man couldn't hear the band - he could see it. In his mind's eye as the gentleman by the window portrayed it with descriptive words.


Days and weeks passed.


One morning, the day nurse arrived to bring water for their baths only to find the lifeless body of the man by the window, who had died peacefully in his sleep. She was saddened and called the hospital attendants to take the body away.


As soon as it seemed appropriate, the other man asked if he could be moved next to the window. The nurse was happy to make the switch, and after making sure he was comfortable, she left him alone.


Slowly, painfully, he propped himself up on one elbow to take his first look at the real world outside. He strained to slowly turn to look out the window beside the bed.


It faced a blank wall.


The man asked the nurse what could have compelled his deceased roommate who had described such wonderful things outside this window.


The nurse responded that the man was blind and could not even see the wall.


She said, "Perhaps he just wanted to encourage you."



Epilogue:


There is tremendous happiness in making others happy, despite our own situations.

Shared grief is half the sorrow, but happiness when shared, is doubled.

If you want to feel rich, just count all the things you have that money can't buy.

virus

There is a dangerous virus being passed around electronically, orally, and by hand.

This virus is called Weary-Overload-Recreational-Killer (WORK). If you receive WORK from any of your colleagues, your boss, or anyone else via any means DO NOT TOUCH IT.

This virus will wipe out your private life completely.

If you should come into contact with WORK, put your jacket on and take two good friends to the nearest grocery store.

Purchase the antidote known as Work-Isolating-Neutralizer-Extract (WINE) or Bothersome-Employer-Elimination-Rebooter (BEER). Take the antidote repeatedly until WORK has been completely eliminated from your system.

You should forward this warning to 5 friends. If you do not have 5 friends, you have already been infected...

Secret of Success

A young man asked Socrates the secret of Success. Socrates told the young man to meet him near the river the next morning. They met.

Socrates asked the young man to walk with him towards the river.

When the water got up to their neck, Socrates took the young man by surprise and ducked him into the water. The man struggled to get out but Socrates was strong and kept him there until he started turning blue.

The young man struggled hard and finally managed to get out and the first thing he did was to gasp and take deep breath. Socrates asked 'What you wanted the most when you were there?' The man replied 'Air'.

Socrates said 'that's the most secret to success. When you want success as badly as you wanted air, you will get it. There is no other secret'.

LOW BUDGET AIRLINES

Another Low Budget Airline is going to be launched in India very soon...



The fairs are very cheep even less than the first class train fair....



Just See below its promotionary picture...

^

^

^



^



^



^



^







KERALA AIRWAYS - A New Low Budget Airline of INDIA ...



THE PERSON YOU ARE SEEING IN THE BACKGROUND IS

THE PILOT :)

Pa Won't Like It

A farm boy accidentally overturned his wagonload of corn. The farmer who lived nearby heard the noise and yelled over to the boy, "Hey Willis, forget your troubles. Come in and visit with us. I'll help you get the wagon up later."

"That's mighty nice of you," Willis answered, "but I don't think Pa would like me to."

"Aw come on boy," the farmer insisted.


"Well okay," the boy finally agreed, and added, "but Pa won't like it."

After a hearty dinner, Willis thanked his host. "I feel a lot better now, but I know Pa is going to be real upset."


"Don't be foolish!" the neighbor said with a smile. "By the way, where is he?"

"Under the wagon."

New Dating Dictionary

ATTRACTION..... the act of associating horniness with a particular person.

LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT..... what occurs when two extremely horny, but not entirely choosy people meet.

DATING..... the process of spending enormous amounts of money, time and energy to get better acquainted with a person whom you don't especially like in the present and will learn to like a lot less in the future.

BIRTH CONTROL..... avoiding pregnancy through such tactics as swallowing special pills, inserting a diaphragm, using a condom, and dating repulsive men.

EASY..... a term used to describe a woman who has the sexual morals of a man.

EYE CONTACT..... a method utilized by one person to indicate that they are interested in another. Despite being advised to do so, many men have difficulty looking a woman directly in the eyes, not necessarily due to shyness, but usually due to the fact that a woman's eyes are not located in her chest.

FRIEND..... a person in your acquaintance who has some flaw which makes sleeping with him/her totally unappealing.

INDIFFERENCE..... a woman's feeling towards a man, which is interpreted by the man to be "playing hard to get".

INTERESTING..... a word a man uses to describe a woman who lets him do all the talking.

IRRITATING HABIT..... what the endearing little qualities that initially attract two people to each other turn into after a few months together.

LAW OF RELATIVITY..... how attractive a given person appears to be is directly proportionate to how unattractive your date is.

NYMPHOMANIAC..... a man's term for a woman who wants to have sex more often than he does.

SOBER..... condition in which it is almost impossible to fall in love.

MALAYALI INGLISH

For Malayalis, No hard feelings :)

Name the wonly part of the werld where Malayalis don't werk hard?

Kerala.


*************

Why is industrial productivity so low in Kerala?

Because 86% of the shift time is spent on lifting, folding and re-tying the lungi.


*************

Why did the Malayali buy an air-ticket?

To go to Thoobai, to meet his ungle in the Gelff.


*************

Why do Malayali's go to the Gelff?

To yearn menney.


*************

What did the Malayali do when the plane caught fire?

He zimbly jembd out of the vindow.


*************

What is a Malayali management graduate called?

Yem Bee Yay.


*************

Why did his wife divorce him?

Because he was louwing another woman.


*************

Who found out that?

His andy.


*************

What does a Malayali do when he goes to America?

He changes his name from Karunakaran to Kevin Curren.


*************

What does a Malayali use to commute to office everyday?

An Oto.


*************

Who is a Malayali's famous yeactor end yaectress?

Moghan lal, Mammooti, Geedha, Revadhi, Zilgsmidha end Ambiga.


*************

Why is Kerala the most highly literate state in India?

Its easily giving Degree to get rid of the peapals from Kerala.


*************

Why are Arab countries looking only for Keralites?

They are ready to do yennything for menney.


*************

SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT:You should at least send this mail to:


10 Malayalis and you will receive cokknut oil,

20 Malayalis and you will receive bennena chips,

40 Malayalis you will receive appams,

Send this to 100 Malayalis and you will get free land near the rice field behind the lungi factory with additional incentive of a whole month's supply of cokknut oil and bennena chips free.

see what u r

ME and MY BOSS:

When I Take a long time to finish,
I am slow,
When my boss takes a long time,
he is thorough


When I don't do it,
I am lazy,
When my boss does not do it,
he is busy,


When I do something without being told,
I am trying to be smart,
When my boss does the same,
he takes the initiative,


When I please my boss,
I am apple polishing,
When my boss pleases his boss,
he is cooperating,


When I make a mistake,
you're an idiot.
When my boss makes a mistake,
he's only human.


When I am out of the office,
I am wandering around.
When my boss is out of the office,
he's on business.


When I am on a day off sick,
I am always sick.
When my boss is a day off sick,
he must be very ill.


When I apply for leave,
I must be going for an interview
When my boss applies for leave,
it's because he's overworked


When I do good,
my boss never remembers,
When I do wrong,
he never forgets

what is recession

The Story is about a man who once upon a time was selling Hotdogs by the roadside. He was illiterate, so he never read newspapers. He was hard of hearing, so he never listened to the radio. His eyes were weak, so he never watched television. But enthusiastically, he sold lots of hotdogs. He was smart enough to offer some attractive schemes to increase his sales. His sales and profit went up. He ordered more a more raw material and buns and use to sale more. He recruited few more supporting staff to serve more customers. He started offering home deliveries. Eventually he got himself a bigger and better stove. As his business was growing, the son, who had recently graduated from College, joined his father.

Then something strange happened. The son asked, "Dad, aren't you aware of the great recession that is coming our way?" The father replied, "No, but tell me about it." The son said, "The international situation is terrible. The domestic situation is even worse. We should be prepared for the coming bad times" The man thought that since his son had been to college, read the papers, listened to the radio and watching TV, he thought to know and his
advice should not be taken lightly. So the next day onwards, the father cut down the his raw material order and buns, took down the colorful signboard,
removed all the special schemes he was offering to the customers and was no longer as enthusiastic. He reduced his staff strength by giving layoffs.
Very soon, fewer and fewer people bothered to stop at his hotdog stand. And his sales started coming down rapidly, same is the profit. The father said to his son, "Son, you were right. We are in the middle of a recession and crisis. I am glad you warned me ahead of time."

Moral of The Story: It's all in your MIND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What can we take away from this story??

1. How many times we confuse intelligence with good judgment?
2. Choose your advisers carefully but use your own judgment
3. A person or an organization will survive forever, if they have the 5 Cs

* Character
* Commitment
* Conviction
* Courtesy
* Courage

The tragedy today is that there are many walking encyclopedias that are living failures. The More practical and appropriate views on this economic recession is: "This is the time to reunite together for any small or a big organization, this is the time to motivate and retain people which are the biggest asset, this is the time to show more commitments to the customers, this is the time show values of our company to the world, and this is the time to stand by our Nation

How to make twins

Scroll Down

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.